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Wishful Wednesday 46: Rock Biography



Sepertinya saya vakum lumayan lama dari postingan Wishful Wednesday.
Selain sibuk dengan pekerjaan dan urusan pribadi, sebenarnya timbunan saya banyak banget.
Tapi, keinginan untuk memiliki buku tidak pernah pudar, so kali ini saya pengen banget memiliki buku-buku ini:


Buried Alive The Biography by Myra Friedman

The classic biography that set the record straight about the most famous woman singer in rock history. This updated edition puts Janis Joplin’s life and music into perspective for a new generation of fans at a time of intensely renewed interest. Illustrations.


Love, Janis by Laura Joplin

A revealing and intimate biography about Janis Joplin, the Queen of Classic Rock, written by her younger sister. Janis Joplin blazed across the sixties music scene, electrifying audiences with her staggering voice and the way she seemed to pour her very soul into her music. By the time her life and artistry were cut tragically short by a heroin overdose, Joplin had become the stuff of rock-and-roll legend. Through the eyes of her family and closest friends , we see Janis as a young girl, already rebelling against injustice, racism, and hypocrisy in society. We follow Janis as she discovers her amazing talents in the Beat hangouts of Venice and North Beach-singing in coffeehouses, shooting speed to enhance her creativity, challenging the norms of straight society. Janis truly came into her own in the fantastic, psychedelic, acid-soaked world of Haight-Asbury. At the height of her fame, Janis’s life is a whirlwind of public adoration and hard living. Laura Joplin shows us not only the public Janice who could drink Jim Morrison under the table and bean him with a bottle of booze when he got fresh; she shows us the private Janis, struggling to perfect her art, searching for the balance between love and stardom, battling to overcome her alcohol addiction and heroin use in a world where substance abuse was nearly universal. At the heart of Love, Janis is an astonishing series of letters by Janis herself that have never been previously published. In them she conveys as no one else could the wild ride from awkward small-town teenager to rock-and-roll queen. Love, Janis is the new life of Janis Joplin we have been waiting for-a celebration of the sixties’ joyous experimentation and creativity, and a loving, compassionate examination of one of that era’s greatest talents.

Terus terang saya bukan penggemar Joplin tapi saya selalu tertarik untuk membaca kisah tentang tokoh intriguing. Menurut saya Janis Joplin merupakan musisi yang menarik, karena di zamannya dia salah satu pemberontak lewat musiknya.

Selain biografi di atas, saya juga pengen membaca buku ini:


Just Kids by Patti Smith

In Just Kids, Patti Smith’s first book of prose, the legendary American artist offers a never-before-seen glimpse of her remarkable relationship with photographer Robert Mapplethorpe in the epochal days of New York City and the Chelsea Hotel in the late sixties and seventies. An honest and moving story of youth and friendship, Smith brings the same unique, lyrical quality to Just Kids as she has to the rest of her formidable body of work–from her influential 1975 album Horses to her visual art and poetry.

Zaman SMP dulu, Patti Smith sempat duet dengan Don Henley dan singlenya sempat ngetop di radio-radio tanah air. Saya kenal Patti Smith dari situ. Sempat ngintip rating buku ini di Goodreads dan tinggi. Bikin penasaran.

Yang mau ikutan Wishful Wednesday gampang banget. Langsung aja visit blog Perpus Kecil

Happy Wednesday.


[Book Review] My Crazy Beautiful Life by Kesha



Title: My Crazy Beautiful Life
Author: Kesha
Publisher: Touchstone
Web Link: here
Date of Release: November 20, 2012
No. of Pages: 192
ISBN: 1476704163
Format: Coffee Table
Category: Non Fiction
Genre: Biography, Memoir, Autobiography, Music


In less than three years, I’ve gone from being the worst waitress in LA to living out my childhood dreams of singing my songs to people all over the world. Sometimes, it feels as if the last few years have encompassed a few decades. . . . You might have heard my voice on the radio, seen me onstage and on the red carpet, or in a music video, but that’s only a part of the story. In these pages, I’m revealing a more complete picture of what my life is really like. It’s not all glamorous and it’s not all pretty, but it’s all real. . . . I want you to come on a whirlwind journey with an all-access pass to My Crazy Beautiful Life.


I bought this book on Periplus website (bargain bin FTW! Thank you, Ren). Not a huge fan of Ke$ha but I was quite intrigued by her antics.

I read the introduction and I liked it. I postponed my reading as I lost interest in reading (reader’s block?). Seriously, I’ve been trapped in this zone for quite some time. Then I got sick, had bedrest, and I picked it up again. I finished this book in an hour.

This book tells a bit about Kesha’s childhood, how her brother got her into music (they formed a garage band called “Dynamite Cop”), and she tells about her tough school years as she moves a lot. She starts writing music when she was 4 years old.

Kesha was born at a party, getting accepted into Ivy Leagues, but soon dropping out of high school to pursue music career. Moving to Los Angeles from Nashville, she works as a waitress, a telemarketer, a TV extra, etc, just to pay gas.

After 4 years, all her hardwork is paid. She hears “Tik Tok” on the radio and the rest is history.

This book is jam-packed with beautiful quotes, family and stage pictures, journals, and lyric sheets. I got a big picture of Kesha’s life as an artist. If you’re looking for an in-depth memoir, this is not the book for you. But if you want to read a fun and fast-paced book, you can give it a try.

Kesha is suing Dr. Luke (her producer) for alleged sexual assault and emotional abuse (link)


I know how it feels to be bullied; I know that it can stay with you for a long time.

I wanted to write a massive party anthem that would get the whole world moving.

I never have expectations, because as soon as you expect something, you can be disappointed.



[Book Review] Insatiable by Asa Akira


Title Insatiable: Porn – A Love Story
Author: Asa Akira
Publisher: Grove Atlantic
Web Link: link
Date of Release: May 6, 2014
No. of Pages: 256
ISBN: 978-602-9193-17-6
Format: Ebook
Category: Non Fiction
Genre: Biography, Memoir, Porn


Asa Akira (28) has already had an extremely unusual life. Educated at the United Nations International School in Manhattan, she soon was earning a good living by stripping and working as a dominatrix at a sex dungeon. Akira has now built up a reputation for being of the most popular, hardworking, and extreme actors in the business, winning dozens of awards for her 330+ movies, including her #1 bestselling series “Asa Akira Is Insatiable”.

In Insatiable, Akira recounts her extraordinary life in chapters that are hilarious, shocking, and touching. In a wry, conversational tone, she talks about her experiences shoplifting and doing drugs while in school, her relationship with other porn stars (she is married to one) and with the industry at large, and her beliefs about women and sexuality. Insatiable is filled with Akira’s unusual and often highly amusing anecdotes, including her visit to a New Hampshire sex shop run by a mother and son.

In a world where porn is increasingly becoming part of the mainstream, Akira is one of very few articulate voices writing from the inside. She something important, controversial, and astonishingly interesting to say about sex and its central role in our lives and culture.


Asa Akira is probably one of the most popular names in porn industry. The self-proclaimed anal queen is not ashamed to flaunt her best interest: having freaky sex on camera.

I’ve read several porn memoirs. One of them is Ordeal, the most disturbing memoir I’ve read so far.
Unlike Lovelace, Akira admits that she enjoys having sex on camera. She says she comes from a happy family. She started masturbating at an early age, that her mother forbade her to put on a blanket, afraid of what she might do under the sheet.

Akira also broke the myth of pornstars. She’s pretty and witty, somewhat rare in porn industry. Unlike any other paents, Akira’s can accept her profession. She said as long as she’s happy, her parents will support her all the way.

Insatiable is a fun read. I laughed a lot when I read this book. Some chapters are quite disturbing, especially parts about anal scene. One thing that confuses me is when Akira was offered to do a squirt scene. She couldn’t believe it because she’s not a squirter. But when she described her sex activities before AVN Awards with her husband, Toni Ribas, she explicitly explained that she squirted during sex and was asked to lick her own liquid (ewww).

What I learn about porn life:
1. Most porn stars contracted STDs. Chlamydia, herpes, or HIV, you name it. Akira got chlamydia during her second month of shooting porn.
2. Almost every porn star is addicted to (sex) drugs.
3. Of course, porn stars are exhibitionists. Akira says having sex on camera and thinking hundreds of men jerking off while watching her turn her on.
4. Not all sex is enjoyable during the shoot. Sasha Grey, a retired porn star, said that she had orgasm only three times during her porn career.
5. Some porn stars even quit the business because they’re humiliated. In her book, Linda Lovelace said she was forced to do porn by her husband. Alina Li has recently quit the business. Read her story here.

If you want to know a bit about porn industry, you may check out this book.

An A to Z Porn Glossary inspired by Asa Akira’s Insatiable: click here


Until next time


[Book Review] In The Name of Honor by Mukhtar Mai

posting bareng BBI 2014

Judul: In The Name of Honor (Atas Nama Kehormatan)
Penulis: Mukhtar Mai
Penerbit: Pustaka Alvabet
Terbit: Desember 2009
Tebal: 198 halaman
ISBN: 978-979-3064-78-9
Kategori: Non Fiksi
Genre: Memoir, Culture, Feminism
Beli di: Bukabuku – Harga: Rp. 29,750
Harga: Rp. 23,000
Kalimat pembuka:
PADA MALAM HARI TANGGAL 22 JUNI 2002, KELUARGA kami membuat sebuah keputusan.



“Mukhtar Mai adalah seorang pahlawan. Dia telah mengalami pemerkosaan dan kebrutalan pengadilan. Atas kejadian itu dia meyakinkan kita akan pentingnya pendidikan—dan harapan. —Nicholas Kristoff, The New York Times

Mukhtar Mai adalah perempuan Muslim berusia 35 tahun yang tinggal di perkampungan kecil di selatan Punjab, Pakistan. Ia termasuk satu dari 100 tokoh paling berpengaruh versi Majalah TIME.

Melalui kisah ini, mudah-mudahan saya dapat membantu orang lain untuk memahami bahwa perubahan harus dilakukan.”—Mukhtar Mai

Untuk pertama kalinya, Mukhtar Mai menuangkan pengalaman pahitnya dalam buku yang sangat menyentuh hati. Sebuah kisah mengenai penderitaan dan kehinaan yang mendalam, juga keberanian dan keyakinan yang besar.

Pada 22 Juni 2002, Mukhtar Mai dijatuhi hukuman oleh Dewan Adat di desanya dengan cara diperkosa. Dia dipegangi oleh empat orang laki-laki, ditelanjangi dan kemudian diperkosa beramai-ramai. Lalu, ia diperintahkan untuk berjalan pulang dalam kondisi setengah telanjang di hadapan 300-an penduduk desa. Dengan cara dipertontonkan dan dipermalukan di depan umum, Mai harus melakukan itu demi ‘membayar’ suatu tindak kejahatan yang tanpa bukti, yang dituduhkan kepada adik laki-lakinya.

Adik laki-laki Mai, Abdul Syakur (12 tahun), dituduh memiliki affair dengan seorang gadis dari kasta yang lebih tinggi. Dewan Adat akhirnya menjatuhkan hukuman kepada Mukhtar Mai dengan cara diperkosa. Menjelang menit-menit pelaksanaan hukumannya, Mukhtar Mai meminta belas kasihan, memohon agar adiknya dibebaskan, dan membaca al-Quran—satu-satunya bacaan yang dihapalnya.

thoughtsSudah cukup lama saya tidak membaca buku non fiksi. Pas nggak sengaja browsing di, saya menemukan buku ini dan tertarik untuk memilikinya. Kebetulan tema baca bareng bulan ini mengusung tema perempuan, saya pikir buku ini cocok dengan tema tersebut.

Mukhtar Mai adalah seorang perempuan miskin anak petani dari kasta Gujar yang tinggal di desa Meerwala, Pakistan. Adik laki-lakinya dituduh berzina dengan seorang perempuan yang usianya jauh lebih tua. Sialnya, perempuan itu berasal dari kasta Mastoi, kasta yang lebih tinggi dari kaum Gujar. Orang-orang Mastoi menguasai sebagian besar lahan di desa tersebut dan kerap berlaku sewenang-wenang terhadap kaum Gujar.

Untuk meringankan hukuman adiknya, Mukhtar Mai diutus keluarganya untuk memohon kepada para lelaki Mastoi. Bukannya diberi maaf, Mukhtar Mai diseret ke gudang dan diperkosa beramai-ramai, lalu dilemparkan keluar kandang dalam keadaan setengah telanjang.

Orang normal akan bunuh diri jika mengalami kejadian yang dialami oleh Mukhtar Mai. Karena mukjizat dari Tuhan serta tekad yang kuat, Mukhtar melawan para pemerkosanya dan ia berjuang hingga akhirnya ia mendapat perhatian international.

Pada awalnya, Mukhtar yang buta huruf dikerjai oleh pihak kepolisian. Ia dipaksa menempelkan sidik jari pada lembaran kosong (yang tadinya akan dibuat laporan palsu tentang pengakuan Mukhtar). KArena kebijakan hakim, Mukhtar berkata jujur dan laporannya tersebut berhasil menyeret para pemerkosa dan pihak yang terlibat dalam kejahatan tersebut ke meja hijau. Mukhtar membuka jalan bagi para wanita Pakistan yang sebelumnya diinjak-injak oleh kaum lelaki bejat.

Buku ini membuat saya menahan napas, menangis, dan meringis karena tak tega. Untung saja penulis tidak menceritakan bagian pelecehan seksual secara eksplisit. Jujur saja, saya paling tidak kuat membaca buku tema pemerkosaan. Saya jadi teringat dengan para wanita yang mendapat perlakuan tak adil seperti ini. Banyak kasus pemerkosaan di daerah Timur Tengah yang malah merugikan pihak wanita. Mereka diadili dengan tuduhan perzinahan lalu dihukum mati. Miris saya mendengar kabar seperti ini.

Mukhtar Mai adalah sosok perempuan sederhana yang memiliki ketegaran seperti baja. Saya salut dengan perjuangannya yang membuahkan hasil di luar dugaan. Ia mendapat uang kompensasi dari pemerintah yang kemudaian ia gunakan untuk membangun sekolah di kampungnya. Ia juga dianugerahi penghargaan oleh pemerintah Pakistan. Selain itu, buku memoir ini pertama kali terbit di Prancis. Kasus Mukhtar Mai yang mendapat perhatian international juga membawanya ke markas PBB dan Mukhtar bicara di sana untuk menyuarakan hak wanita. Mukhtar juga dinobatkan sebagai satu dari 100 tokoh paling berpengaruh di dunia.

Tadinya saya ingin memberikan 5 bintang untuk buku ini, sayang terjemahannya terasa agak kaku. Tapi secara keseluruhan, saya sangat menyukai buku ini, apalagi karena endingnya membuat saya tersenyum.



Need a second opinion?

Stefanus Akim


Until next time


[Book Review] Remembering Whitney by Cissy Houston


Title: Remembering Whitney: A Mother’s Story of Life, Loss, and the Night the Music Stopped

Authors: Cissy Houston, Lisa Dickey

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: January 29, 2013

No. of Pages: 297

Category: Non Fiction

Genre: Biography, Memoir

Buy at: [Bookdepository] []

book_blurbOn the eve of the 2012 Grammy Awards, the world learned of a stunning tragedy: Whitney Houston, unquestionably one of the most remarkable and powerful voices in all of music, had been silenced forever. Over the weeks and months that followed, family, friends, and fans alike tried to understand how such a magnificent talent and beautiful soul could have been taken so early and so unexpectedly.
Glamorous and approachable, captivating and sweet, Whitney had long ago won the hearts of America, but in recent years her tumultuous personal life had grabbed as many headlines as her soaring vocal talents. Her sudden death left behind not only a legacy of brilliance, but also painful questions with no easy answers.
Now, for the first time, the beloved superstar’s mother, Cissy Houston — a gospel legend in her own right—relates the full, astonishing scope of the pop icon’s life and career. From Whitney’s earliest days singing in the church choir to her rapid ascent to the pinnacles of music stardom, from her string of number one hits to her topping the Hollywood box office, Cissy recounts her daughter’s journey to becoming one of the most popular and successful artists of all time. Setting the record straight, Cissy also speaks candidly about Whitney’s struggles in the limelight, revealing the truth about her turbulent marriage to singer Bobby Brown, her public attempts to regain her celebrated voice, and the battle with drugs that ultimately proved too much.
In this poignant and tender tribute to her “Nippy,” Cissy summons all her strength to reveal not only Whitney the superstar, but also Whitney as a sweet girl, a bright-eyed young woman, and a deeply caring mother.
Complete with never-before-seen family photographs, Remembering Whitney is an intimate, heartfelt portrait of one of our most revered artists, from the woman who cherished her most.


Whitney Elizabeth Houston was one of the best singers in the world. Oprah called her “The Voice”. She was brought in a musical family. Her mother, Cissy Houston, was part of the gospel group and worked with prominent artists such as Aretha Franklin, Elvis Presley, Luther Vandross. Whitney’s cousin, Dionne Warwick, is an award-winning artist and still active in music industry.

Once, Whitney was on her peak singing “I Will Always Love You” with her flawless voice that gave shivers to millions of people around the world. Once, Whitney was a complete package: a beautiful young woman with unbelievably-perfect voice and a pleasant attitude. Once.

She was a gifted artist with a bright future in front of her. She was born to be a diva. But, that moment didn’t last long. She was struggling with her personal demons, was a victim in domestic abuse. On February 11, 2012, the lights went off. The diva has gone.

I was sad when I heard the news. How could I forget that day. Whitney is one of my heroes. Her songs are everlasting. It happened on my birthday last year. I was sad, but not shocked, because somehow I could see it coming. What’s in store for a drug addict? It doesn’t take a genius to predict the future of druggies. It’s just about time.

This is a heartbreaking memoir of a mother who lost her beloved daughter. I believe Cissy was telling the truth. So many facts that were confirmed in this book.
Whitney had a drug problem long before she met Bobby Brown. When she met Bobby for the first time on Soul Train Awards, they just clicked, and not long after that, they got married. People were shocked. Whitney and Bobby, what a joke. Whitney had a squeaky clean image. On the other hand, Bobby was a bad boy. People knew that he was kicked out of New Edition due to his recklessness.
And things got worse after Whitney had a baby, Bobbi Christina (Krissi). Whitney was on a long hiatus, partying with his notorious husband, and nobody wanted to hear Whitney sing anymore. She released some albums. She canceled some concerts. Everyone knew she had a problem with drugs. Until she was kicked out of Academy Awards Performance. She’d shown erratic behavior during rehearsals, couldn’t memorize her lines. And that’s it.

Cissy knew Whitney had a problem, but she couldn’t save her daughter. Whitney hid her addiction. She had all the power to fire her people if ‘Barracuda’ (Cissy’s nickname) found out about that. So, nobody dared to talk. Sadly, Whitney’s brothers were on the same boat, which hurt Cissy even more.That was the end of Whitney’s career.

The night before Grammy Awards 2012, Whitney’s erratic behavior bursted out at a club after she sang “Jesus Loves Me”.
She had a catfight with a woman who was rumored to be Ray Jay’s girlfriend. Ray Jay is Brandy’s brother. Ray and Whitney were rumored to be couple. But according to Bobby Brown’s sister, Ray was never Whitney’s lover. He was nothing but a drug dealer.

Whitney’s death was surrounded by mysterious circumstances. So many odd things happened during that day. For example, Clive Davis’s Pre-Grammy Party was held when Whitney died, but nobody wanted to stop partying when the news broke. While Whitney’s dead body was lying at the hotel room, people were partying below.
Second, Bobby Brown’s sister confirmed that Whitney hated to soak in the bath tub. She believed there waa a foul play involved.

I don’t want to remember Whitney as a drug addict. To me, Whitney was a beautiful woman who touched so many people with her amazing voice.

Rest in peace, Whitney.


Until next time


[Book Review] Ordeal by Linda Lovelace



Title: Ordeal
Authors: Linda Lovelace with Mike McGrady
Publisher: Citadel Press
Published: March 1989, Fourth Printing
ISBN: 0-8065-0687-3
Format: Hardcover
No. of Pages: 252
Category: Non-Fiction
Genre: Sex memoir, biography, true crime
Bought at: Betterworldbooks for $6.25
Opening sentences: My name is not Linda Lovelace. Not these days.


Linda Lovelace became a household name in 1972, when Deep Throat–a film made for only $25.000–became the first pornographic movie ever to cross over to mainstream audiences, to the tune of $600 million and counting. Despite being the face that launched the film’s phenomenal success, behind the scenes Linda was suffering unspeakable torture and abuse at the hands of her husband, Chuck Traynor, and she never earned a dollar from the film’s huge success. A harrowing tale of the pursuit of happiness and the will to survive amid years of horrific abuse, Ordeal reveals the dark reality behind Deep Throat, and its star’s tragic, yet ultimately triumphant, life.


ATTENTION! If you’re under 21 y-o, please do not read this review. It contains explicit and graphic sexual descriptions that might be offensive.

I’ve read many porn stars and ex-porn stars memoirs, but nothing can beat Ordeal. It’s the most sadistic and disturbing book I’ve ever read.

The story begins when Linda Boreman had a car accident. She met Chuck Traynor who seemed so sweet. Later, Linda found that Chuck is a monster who physically, verbally, and sexually abused her. From then on, her nightmares came to life.

Linda wanted to flee from home. She couldn’t stand her abusive mother. Chuck took her home and began pimping her. Linda was a virgin, but then Chuck took her virginity. Chuck had debts and he sold Linda for money. He was always violent, even pointed a gun to Linda, his wife.

Chuck was a perv, a sadomasochist who was aroused everytime Linda was in pain. Then one thing led to another. Linda and Chuck met a pornographer and the rest is history. Linda Boreman became ‘Linda Lovelace’, a porn icon who got (so-called) respect from people in Hollywood. She’s famous of her ability to swallow penis (even the larbe one), just like a performer who can swallow a sword. Apparently, Chuck trained her to relax her throat muscle to do this.

I had to hold my breath while reading this book. There’s too many graphic details. Linda was forced to do a scene with a dog, can you imagine? She was beaten and threatened. Chuck always used his weapon, that he would kill whoever got in the way, including Linda’s parents. Later on, Linda was forced to perform BDSM, paraphilia, zoophilia, whatever sickness and degrading that you can imagine (my stomach was churning when I read that part. It’s beyond sick).

So many times, Linda tried to escape, but she failed and went back to Chuck. This always happens to domestic violence victims. They’re brainwashed and afraid to meet another monster if they have guts to leave the abuser. They’re torn to pieces. Their self esteem was peeled off until they’ve got nothing and become numb. That’s what happened to Linda. She said she’s not herself while having sex with strangers.

Hugh Hefner and Sammy Davis Jr were two of many prominent Hollywood celebrities who put interests on Linda Lovelace. Chuck and Linda were regulars at Hefner’s lavish parties. They’re allowed to crash at the mansion. Somehow I can relate Hefner to Jay Gatsby.

In the end, Linda could free herself from Chuck. She met one or two men before settling down to be a housewife. She was against pornography until the car accident took her life in 2002.

As far as I know, pornography is degrading for women. Many porn stars confessed that they were drugged, abused, and forced to get involve in freaky sexual acts, mostly against their will. Watching porn, to me, is like watching rape in action. I have no desire to see “Deep Throat” even though media claimed it’s a cult movie. Linda was raped during filming. I think it’s wise to ban the film. Just like what they did to Traci Lords. At 15, she began posing for adult magazines, and quickly ventured into porn. She appeared in more than 100 movies before she turned 18. All of her movies were banned by the authorities. Sadly, a lot of people are still glamoring porn. Young celebrities like Miley, Lilo, and the likes think taking topless selca is cool. Remember Miley’s scandal with Vanity Fair? That happened long before VMA scandal. Nowadays, female celebrities like Rihanna, Lady Gaga, and Nicki Minaj are not ashamed to show some skin for free through instagram or tweetpic. It’s porn goes mainstream. Watch out, parents.

Back to Ordeal, I read this book before I see “Lovelace”, Linda’s biopic starring Amanda Seyfried. I’ll review the movie asap.

Ordeal is an eye-opener. To learn about the danger of porn, you should read books like this.


He could tell me the sky was green and I’d believe him, even though I was looking right up into a blue sky. (p. 28)

It wasn’t the fact of the sex that upset me; it was the nature of the sex. I couldn’t imagine anyone-even prostitutes-doing something so incredibly personal with other people around.

Melody was a strange kind of a hooker. She was very intellogent and always carried a book to read with her, even on jobs.

As soon as Chuck saw how much pain in this experience caused me, he made sure that it became a key part of my repertoire.

I know a dozen Chucks, a hundred Chucks and they’re all monsters.

“How come you never got away?”
“Because it’s kind of hard to get away when there’s a gun pointed at your head.”

Recently when several Playboy bunnies in Great Gorge, New Jersey, were drugged, photographed and forced to work as whores, I could understand the process.

The first time I met Rob, I wondered how this could be. Here’s this real doll-he was adorable!-tall and blond and cute. How could a guy who looked like that do what he did for a living? What problems did he have to get into something like this? I will never undetstand that. (p. 104)

What kind of world do we live in? Would you believe that a doctor, a professional man, would accept sexual favors as payment for the bill?

I learned that it was illegal to have silicone injected into your breasts. It seems to me when something is illegal, there’s usually a danger connected with it.

Chuck and I had been given to run of the (Playboy) Mansion. We were practically living there. We had joined the rest of the freeloaders for the movies, the food, the parties and the regular Wednesday night orgies.

Living in Hollywood, yoi begin to forget that outside there is still a normal world with normal people. California is the land of the super-freaks and they all seem to come to Hollywood sooner or later.

I guess they figure that half a truth is better than no truth at all. To me, it’s still a lie.

Any beating, no matter how severe, would be better than being raped by a dog. (p. 109)
I think I’d rather be dead than not really be living. (p. 221)




More reviews on Ordeal

We Love This Book here

Articles on Porn

The Truth about the Porn Industry here
Porn and the End of Masculinity here
Pornography is Bad for Your Health here

Submitted for:
Books in English Challenge here
Baca Bareng BBI biografi here
Year Long Memoir Challenge here

Until next time:)


I give this book for Brigidda 🙂

Wishful Wednesday 30: Call the Midwife


Udah berapa lama ya gue absen Wishful Wednesday? Yang jelas hari ini gue menyempatkan untuk ikut ngewish masal sama teman-teman, hehehe.

Iseng banget kemaren browsing buku lalu ketemu deh satu memoar yang kelihatannya menarik untuk dibaca:


Jennifer Worth came from a sheltered background when she became a midwife in the Docklands in the 1950s. The conditions in which many women gave birth just half a century ago were horrifying, not only because of their grimly impoverished surroundings, but also because of what they were expected to endure. But while Jennifer witnessed brutality and tragedy, she also met with amazing kindness and understanding, tempered by a great deal of Cockney humour. She also earned the confidences of some whose lives were truly stranger, more poignant and more terrifying than could ever be recounted in fiction. Attached to an order of nuns who had been working in the slums since the 1870s, Jennifer tells the story not only of the women she treated, but also of the community of nuns (including one who was accused of stealing jewels from Hatton Garden) and the camaraderie of the midwives with whom she trained. Funny, disturbing and incredibly moving, Jennifer’s stories bring to life the colourful world of the East End in the 1950s.

B uku ini sudah dibuat serial TVnya dengan judul yang sama. Cek reviewnya di sini.

Buku berlatar pasca PD2 ini bikin gue panasaran karena memang profesi midwife alias bidan pasti banyak sekali suka-dukanya pada masa itu. Kebayang dramanya pasti cukup banyak secara midwife dan perawat kan mayoritas cewek.

Yang mau ikutan Wishful Wednesday:

  1. Silakan follow blog Books To Share – atau tambahkan di blogroll/link blogmu =)
  2. Buat posting mengenai buku-buku (boleh lebih dari 1) atau segala hal yang berhubungan dengan kebutuhan bookish kalian, yang jadi inceran kalian minggu ini, mulai dari yang bakal segera dibeli, sampai yang paling mustahil dan hanya sebatas mimpi. Oya, sertakan juga alasan kenapa buku/benda itu masuk dalam <emwishlist kalian ya!
  3. Tinggalkan link postingan Wishful Wednesday kalian di Mr Linky yang ada di akhir postingan. Kalau mau, silakan tambahkan button Wishful Wednesday di posting kalian.
  4. Mari saling berkunjung ke sesama blogger yang sudah ikut share wishlistnya di hari Rabu =)

Happy Wednesday.


[Book Review] Some Girls, Some Hats and Hitler by Trudi Kanter



Title: Some Girls, Some Hats and Hitler: a Love Story
Author: Trudi Kanter
Publisher: Virago
Published: April 12th, 2012
No. Of Pages: 242
ISBN: 978-1-84408-808-9
Category: Non Fiction
Genre: Memoir, autobiography, war, Holocaust
Format: Paperback
Bought at: Bookdepository for $5.64 (Bargain Bin)
Opening sentences: Of course I’d seen him before. Many times. In the cafes, restaurants, theatres, concert halls and beautiful shops of a small city like Vienna, everyone knew who was who, and everyone knew who might one day be more than that.


A true story. Vienna, 1938: Trudi Miller, young, beautiful and chic, designs hats for the smartest women in the city. She is falling in love with Walter, a charming and charismatic businessman. But their idyll is about to end. Trudi and Walter are Jewish, and as Hitler’s tanks roll into Austria, they know they have to flee. Some Girls, Some Hats and Hitler is an incredible true story that moves from Vienna to Prague to blitzed London, as Trudi desperately seeks a safe place for her and Walter amid the horror engulfing Europe.


Holocaust is Lust & Coffee’s topic of the year. Masih belum puas membaca buku-buku bertema Holocaust, kali ini gue iseng membeli satu memoir masa Holocaust di Wina. Setelah iseng browsing sana-sini, ternyata banyak fakta menarik tentang buku ini. Rilisan pertama diterbitkan secara self-published dan kurang mendapat tanggapan. Seseorang menemukan versi out of print-nya dan menerbitkan ulang. Versi terbitan Virago yang sudah diedit ini yang kembali hadir dan berada di tangan. Hingga kini, pihak penerbit masih mencari pemegang copyright karya Trudi ini.

Tidak seperti kebanyakan cerita di masa Holocaust yang suram dan penuh kesedihan, memoar Trudi agak berbeda. Trudi yang berprofesi sebagai perancang topi (kebayang kan topi-topi vintage yang kerap dipakai perempuan tahun 1930-an?) bertemu dengan Walter di luar apartemen Trudi. Seperti kejadian di film-film romantis nan klise, mereka bertubrukan, dan Walter meminta maaf. Setelah itu, mereka menyesap champagne, and the rest is history. Trudi menjelaskan tempat kencannya dengan Walter. Salah satunya Vienna Opera House. Membaca bab awal Trudi seperti membaca novel STPC versi bule 🙂 Asli, jadi pengin ngedate ke Wina. Kafe-kafenye juga gak kalah romantis dibandingkan Paris.

Lalu, keromantisan suasana pacaran Trudi dengan Walter terusik dengan berita yang membuat warga Yahudi ketakutan. Pasukan SS menduduki Wina. Bendera Nazi dipasang, membuat suasana tegang dan mencekam. Pergolakan politik tak dapat dicegah. Hitler sudah mengumumkan bahwa Austria adalah bagian dari Jerman. Sebagai pasangan berdarah Yahudi, Trudi dan Walter takut mendapat siksaan dan dibawa ke kamp konsentrasi. Mereka memutuskan untuk pergi keluar dari Austria.

Trudi pada saat itu masih proses cerai dengan suaminya, Pepi. Karena keadaan mendesak maka pengadilan dan sinagog mengabulkan permohonan cerai tanpa proses berlarut-larut.

Trudi yang sering bepergian ke Prancis, Belanda, dan beberapa negara lain karena pekerjaannya, mengajukan visa untuk keluar dari Austria. Beruntung, permohonannya dikabulkan. Demikian juga dengan Walter, yang dibantu oleh pamannya, berhasil mendapatkan visa Inggris. Jaman itu belum ada Schengen, jadi memang agak ribet untuk mengurus visa ke sesama negara Eropa.

Pasukan SS sudah mengobrak-abrik apartemen, rumah tinggal, dan merampas semua harta milik penduduk Austria keturunan Yahudi. Bahkan rekening milik warga Yahudi dibekukan, membuat Trudi tidak sempat membayar pajak tertunggak karena uangnya tidak bisa dicairkan.

Berbekal visa Inggris, Trudi melakukan perjalanan via laut sehubungan dengan pekerjaannya. Ia sempat kembali ke Austria. Karena keadaan di Austria sudah dalam taraf siaga 4 (mungkin), Trudi dan Walter berangkat ke London. Salah satu faktor yang menyebabkan Trudi ingin minggat karena ia yakin ada rekan yang berkhianat. Seseorang mencari Walter, dan orang tersebut kembali lagi untuk mencarinya. Hati Trudi dan Walter tidak tenang. Mereka berhasil keluar dari Austria, bahkan Pepi ikut membanty kepergian mereka (Pepi adalah tokoh favorit gue di buku ini. He’s such a gentleman.)

Tak lama, Trudi dan Walter mendapatkan PR di London. Topi-topi Trudi yang sempat ditahan, sampai juga di London. Sebuah butik membantu Trudi untuk menjual topi-topi tersebut dan karya Trudi laris manis diborong oleh para sosialita London yang hadir di trunk show butik tersebut.

Trudi adalah perempuan yang insecure. Setelah bercerai dari Pepi, ia masih tidak rela jika ada perempuan yang dekat dengan mantan suaminya itu. Belum lagi perempuan yang berbicara dengan Walter, dianggapnya sedang flirting. Sikap Trudi yang cemburuan agak annoying menurut gue, but I guess that’s the flavor of the book.

Buku ini memiliki potensial untuk menjadi salah satu buku tema Holocaust terbaik, namun gaya bertutur Trudi yang terkesan terburu-buru dan switching dari Walter menjadi you di luar dialog membuat gue bingung. Dialognya juga masih kurang rapi. Kalau saja buku ini diedit lagi, mungkin akan lebih enak dibaca. Namun, gue menikmati buku ini, membacanya dengan cepat. Gue membayangkan jika memoir ini difilmkan dan berfokus pada hubungan cinta Trudi dan Walter, mungkin akan jadi rom-flick yang keren.


Hitler isn’t even here, but suddenly everyone is a Nazi. (p. 26)

We are like tiny ants whose nest has been disturbed, running in all directions, trying to find a hole, a blade of grass, somewhere – anywhere – to hide. (p. 33)

There was no sun, just swastika flags. No sky, just swastika flags. There was no God. (p. 37)


Buku ini pernah dibahas di website Oprah sebagai Book of the Week

Need a second opinion?

Independent Review here

Booking Mama here

Book Reporter here

Submitted for:

A Year Long Memoir Reading Challenge here

New Authors Reading Challenge here

Baca Bareng BBI Tema Perang here

Books in English Challenge here

Until next time:)


Wishful Wednesday 23: Helga’s Diary


Ketemu lagi dengan hari Rabu, saatnya make a wish berjamaah dan berkhayal tentang buku yang diidam-idamkan.

Gue sangat suka melancong ke berbagai blog buku dan kalau blognya menarik, langsung gue follow. Karena mengikuti berbagai blog, otomatis semua resensi dan rekomendasi menghujani email. Ada satu email yang masuk dan gue membaca reviewnya tanpa berkedip. Ini bukunya:


“The most moving Holocaust diary published since Anne Frank”. (Telegraph).

Helga’s Diary is a young girl’s remarkable first-hand account of life in a concentration camp during World War II. Like The Diary of Anne Frank this is a publication of international importance and a book that will endure for decades. In 1938, when her diary begins, Helga is eight years old. Alongside her father and mother and the 45,000 Jews who live in Prague, she endures the Nazi invasion and regime: her father is denied work, schools are closed to her, she and her parents are confined to their flat. Then deportations begin, and her friends and family start to disappear. In 1941, Helga and her parents are sent to the concentration camp of Terezin, where they live for three years. Here Helga documents their daily life – the harsh conditions, disease and suffering, as well as moments of friendship, creativity and hope – until, in 1944, they are sent to Auschwitz. Helga leaves her diary behind with her uncle, who bricks it into a wall to preserve it. Helga’s father is never heard of again, but miraculously Helga and her mother survive the horrors of Auschwitz, the gruelling transports of the last days of the war, and manage to return to Prague. As Helga writes down her experiences since Terezin, completing the diary, she is fifteen and a half. She is one of only a tiny number of Czech Jews who have survived. Reconstructed from her original notebooks, which were later retrieved from Terezin, and from the loose-leaf pages on which Helga wrote after the war, the diary is presented here in its entirety, accompanied by an interview with Helga and illustrated with the paintings she made during her time at Terezin. As such, Helga’s Diary is one of the most vivid and comprehensive testimonies written during the Holocaust ever to have been recovered. Helga Weiss was born in Prague in 1929. Her father Otto was employed in the state bank in Prague and her mother Irena was a dressmaker. Of the 15,000 children brought to Terezin and later deported to
Auschwitz, only 100 survived the Holocaust. Helga was one of them. On her return to Prague she studied art and has become well known for her paintings. The drawings and paintings that Helga made during her time in Terezin, which accompany this diary, were published in 1998 in the book Draw What You See (Zeichne, was Du siehst). Her father’s novel And God saw that it was bad, written during his time in Terezin and which she illustrated, was published in 2010. In 1954 Helga married the musician Jiri Hosek. She has two children, three grandchildren and lives to this day in the flat where she was born.

Gue belum bisa move on dari tema Holocaust. Sejak membaca ‘The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas’, keingintahuan gue tentang kejadian WWII dan segala detilnya malah makin menjadi. Seperti buku harian Anne Frank, jurnal Helga juga banyak dibicarakan orang dan (kembali) menuai kontroversi. Yang protes tentu saja kebanyakan adalah Holocaust deniers.
Helga yang sekarang berusia 84 tahun masih ingat detil kejadian mengerikan di kamp konsentrasi, di mana ia dan 15,000 orang lainnya disekap.
Helga mengaku masih berhubungan dengan Holocaust survivors lainnya yang sudah tua dan menjanda. Ia bercerita, setiap kali diundang ke sekolah untuk berbicara tentang Holocaust, ia terguncang. Tapi, Helga bersedia memberi kesaksian kepada anak-anak supaya mereka mencintai sesama.

Artikel tentang buku Helga bisa diklik di sini, dan di sini.

Baca juga excerpt ‘Helga’s Diary’ part 1 di sini

Yang mau ikutan Wishful Wednesday:

  1. Silakan follow blog Books To Share – atau tambahkan di blogroll/link blogmu =)
  2. Buat posting mengenai buku-buku (boleh lebih dari 1) atau segala hal yang berhubungan dengan kebutuhan bookish kalian, yang jadi inceran kalian minggu ini, mulai dari yang bakal segera dibeli, sampai yang paling mustahil dan hanya sebatas mimpi. Oya, sertakan juga alasan kenapa buku/benda itu masuk dalam <emwishlist kalian ya!
  3. Tinggalkan link postingan Wishful Wednesday kalian di Mr. Linky. Kalau mau, silakan tambahkan button Wishful Wednesday di posting kalian.
  4. Mari saling berkunjung ke sesama blogger yang sudah ikut share wishlistnya di hari Rabu =)

Happy Wednesday.


[Book Review] The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank




The diary as Anne Frank wrote it. At last, in a new translation, this definitive edition contains entries about Anne’s burgeoning sexuality and confrontations with her mother that were cut from previous editions. Anne Frank’s The Diary of a Young Girl is among the most enduring documents of the twentieth century. Since its publication in 1947, it has been a beloved and deeply admired monument to the indestructible nature of the human spirit, read by millions of people and translated into more than fifty-five languages. Doubleday, which published the first English translation of the diary in 1952, now offers a new translation that captures Anne’s youthful spirit and restores the original material omitted by Anne’s father, Otto — approximately thirty percent of the diary. The elder Frank excised details about Anne’s emerging sexuality, and about the often-stormy relations between Anne and her mother. Anne Frank and her family, fleeing the horrors of Nazi occupation forces, hid in the back of an Amsterdam office building for two years. This is Anne’s record of that time. She was thirteen when the family went into the “Secret Annex,” and in these pages, she grows to be a young woman and proves to be an insightful observer of human nature as well. A timeless story discovered by each new generation, The Diary of a Young Girl stands without peer. For young readers and adults, it continues to bring to life this young woman, who for a time survived the worst horrors the modern world had seen — and who remained triumphantly and heartbreakingly human throughout her ordeal.


The Diary of a Young Girl merupakan salah satu buku tentang Holocaust yang paling terkenal. Sampai sekarang, banyak sekolah yang mewajibkan siswanya untuk membaca karya Anne Frank ini. Bahkan salah satu penerbit yang fokus di buku Young Adult baru saja merilisnya dengan judul berbeda.

Gue belum pernah membaca buku harian Anne Frank ini. Kebetulan gue sedang mood membaca tema Holocaust dan historical (fiction), dan eventnya berbarengan dengan tema baca bareng BBI. Selain itu, tanggal 12 Juni kemarin adalah hari ulang tahun Anne. Momennya sangat tepat untuk membaca buku ini.

The Diary of a Young Girl tidak sengeri The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. Mungkin karena Anne menceritakan kesehariannya di Annex, tempat ia dan keluarganya bersembunyi. Anne menggambarkan situasi yang mencekam, namun tidak terlalu seram. Sebelum bersembunyi, Anne masuk ke sekolah khusus untuk kaum Yahudi karena peraturan anti-semitik yang dibuat oleh si kumis nanggung, Hitler. Orang Yahudi diperlakukan seperti orang kulit hitam di Amerika sewaktu diskriminasi rasial masih marak sebelum tahun 1970an. Hitler membenci kaum Yahudi karena mereka dianggap sebagai penyebab kekalahan Jerman pada PD I, krisis ekonomi, dan semua bencana yang terjadi di Jerman. Dan, bodohnya, banyak yang mempercayai omong kosong si Fury berkumis nanggung itu.

Keluarga Frank menempati annex di kantor lama ayah Anne, Otto. Pegawai di kantor tersebut menyembunyikan Anne dan keluarganya, dan menyuplai makanan serta kebutuhan sehari-hari. Mereka tinggal bersama keluarga van Daan juga Mr. Dussel yang sering membuat Anne kesal. Anne menyukai Peter van Daan, namun Otto melarang hubungan mereka.

Selama dua tahun, dimulai saat Anne berulangtahun ke 13 pada tahun 1942, ia mulai menulis diary yang ia beri nama Kitty. Anne mencurahkan segala perasaannya dalam diary tersebut, termasuk betapa ia merasa seperti pengecut saat ia melihat beberapa orang Yahudi yang digiring entah kemana, juga disiksa. Sementara ia dan keluarganya bersembunyi di balik rak buku. Selama dua tahun bersembunyi di annex, tentu membuat penghuninya depresi dan ketakutan. Tapi mereka tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa. Demi keselamatan, mereka harus bersembunyi seperti tikus di gudang.

Ending dari kisah Anne Frank memang menyedihkan. Seseorang melaporkan keberadaan keluarga Frank, hingga mereka semua ditangkap. Otto selamat dan berhasil keluar dari camp. Ia menerima buku harian anaknya, menyortirnya, dan menerbitkannya. Anne Frank bercita-cita ingin menjadi penulis atau jurnalis. Walau ia sudah tiada, mimpinya menjadi kenyataan, bahkan namanya terkenal hingga ke segala penjuru dunia. Namun, hingga saat ini, si pengkhianat yang melaporkan tentang penghuni annex masih menjadi misteri.

Banyak kontroversi yang mengiringi buku ini. Ada yang menyebutkan bahwa diary Anne adalah rekayasa Yahudi. Ada juga yang bilang bahwa tulisan Anne ditulis oleh orang lain. Supaya memiliki efek dramatis, dibuat seolah-olah itu adalah karya anak Yahudi yang meninggal semasa holocaust. Gue baca di salah satu blog, bahwa seseorang bernama Meyer Levin, penulis kebangsaan Amerika, dijanjikan uang sejumlah $50,000 oleh Otto Frank untuk menulis buku dengan memakai nama Anne. Bahkan ada yang menyebutkan bahwa holocaust itu fiktif. Untuk membuktikan keraguan publik, tulisan tangan Anne Frank diteliti. Hasilnya positif, diary itu bukan hoax. Hanya saja Otto memilah-milah tulisan yang layak untuk konsumsi publik. Anne menuliskan di buku hariannya bahwa ia kurang suka dengan ibunya. Tulisan yang menyudutkan ibu dan penghuni annex yang lain tidak diterbitkan. Layaknya naskah yang masuk ke meja editor, tentu semua mengalami proses editing. Begitu juga dengan tulisan Anne Frank.

Kontroversi baru kembali muncul ketika The Diary of a Young Girl – Definitive Edition dirilis. Buku tersebut dibanned oleh beberapa sekolah karena dianggap terlalu raunchy untuk remaja.

Despite the controversies, I enjoyed reading Anne’s honest writings about her innermost feelings toward the situation. Kadang ABG banget, kadang galau, kadang centil, bitter, kadang ia bisa menjadi sangat dewasa. Buku ini salah satu peninggalan sejarah selama PD II dan gue yakin kalau buku ini otentik.
Gue pasti akan menyuruh anak gue baca buku ini, tapi menunggu dia cukup umur dulu. Hopefully one day I can visit Anne Frank museum and the annex where she lived. Satu pelajaran paling berharga yang gue dapat dari buku ini adalah: seburuk apapun situasi yang kita alami, jangan menyerah atau putus asa. Bertahan hidup hingga takdir membawa kita.


I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.

I wish I could ask God to give me another personality, one that doesn’t antagonize everyone.

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.

Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction.

I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

I wish I could come out of the closet.

tidbits* Sebelum diberi judul “the Diary of a Young Girl”, naskah tulisan Anne diberi judul “The Annex”.

* Selain memberi nama Kitty, Anne menjuluki diarynya dengan sebutan Pop, Phien, Jetty, Loutje, etc.

* Anne mengalami depresi selama bersembunyi di Annex. Ia mengkonsumsi valerian untuk mengatasi depresi.




Setelah membaca The Diary of a Young Girl, gue tertarik untuk membaca dua buku berikut:


Rencananya kisah Anne Frank akan diremake oleh Disney dalam waktu dekat.

Berdasarkan biografi Melissa Muller

Anne Frank The Whole Story Part 1
Anne Frank The Whole Story Part 2
The Diary of Anne Frank 2009 here

Tentang Sengketa Anne Frank di sini

Anne Frank’s film footage here